The act of making love

To make love is to copulate, that is, to have sexual intercourse. In this endeavor, we’re interested in consenting men and women making love. After all the involvement of introduction and getting connected is done with the kingship of love affair, make love. In here, we’re interested in settled heart affairs, that is, such that have past the rudimentary stages of courtship and even have past the initiation of sexual activity between couples. In other words, we’re to deal with such as have no barrier in going to bed together and be at joy in doing the things that lovers do.

Love making could be a straitjacket thing, the woman lying on her back and the man mounting her, thrusting in and out, given little or no time to oral sexual activity or pleasure that each of the parties could derive from intercourse. Stay specifically within what is widely referred to as traditional style without reference to what we call the variety of style, which ironically is the spice of pleasurable intercourse.

Making love is beyond as stated above. In the minds of many, due to deep-seated beliefs, moral high ground, and being right in conduct, the traditional way of making love has come to be either the only way or the righteous way. Nothing can be further from the truth. On the contrary, lovemaking is an art of merging two consenting souls, bodies, and minds into one entity. Love making is an art that makes two souls in love completely surrender to each other in rare minutes when sense gives way to senselessness.

Love making ought to be so enjoyed that getting off each other’s arms after the deed should seem inconceivable. In other words, only sound sleep in each other’s arms is the state deserving of lovers just past the climaxes.

THE DOINGS AND UNDOINGS OF LOVE AFFAIRS

Many are the juices and tears on the terrain of love affairs. An average aspirant to its ship will wish and hope for a taste of its juices. But reality checks reveal that the tears take the day in most surveys of an average day of mating of hearts. Why is it so, asks the mind of the most concerned observer. Let’s expose some of the potholes in the wings and branches of the birds and tree of love.

   The touch, taste, and transit

The individual interested in touch-and-go will, by expectation, be a competent trickster, to be able to make another believe in him or her and the attended escapade. He must necessarily be a good judge of character and body language, must be a good storyteller, and must be able to spread make-believe and get the victim carried away. That’s, be able to make the victim draw a non-existent conclusion about the ensuing relationship.

The touch-and-go man or woman will, of course, not come to the intended catch with a blueprint stating that he or she is intending to hit and run, or he or she is only interested in merely wanting to make some cash. But irrespective of the antics of a dubious lover, a careful mind in courtship will always be able to separate real from fake intention.

Any lover who is willing to identify and isolate a fake lover must divorce greed, overexpectation, and unmitigated eagerness from his or her psyche when assessing a prospective lover. Such isolation will allow the mind to freely read the telltale signs, such as sincerity of purpose, freedom of expression, double-check volunteered information, make a critical observation of body language, and have the ability to read between the lines. For instance, as little as not keeping to time might seem on face value in a relationship, it goes a long way to determine the seriousness that a lover attaches to the matters concerning the desired mate.

Touch-and-go lovers, man or woman, will always be available in the atmosphere of love affairs, hence they’ll do all as they wish to fall in and live in love, a world of good to learn as much as is possible about the mode of operation of love gamers.

      The for better and for worse lovers

Two hearts in love that have come to the conclusion that it is desirable to spend the rest of their days together will, as of natural design, experience chains of unforeseen consequences that, in time, will test their bond to the limit. It usually starts from the moment of final decision is made to consummate the budding relationship. Like a time bomb waiting to explode, a series of irreconcilable differences raises its ugly head. This is perfectly within expectation as the habit(s) that is/are hitherto suppressed in pretense to satisfy each other get free rein. And as the true color becomes discernible, surprises and realities conflict to the extent that it gives birth to uncontrolled outbursts that will elicit a reaction. The action and reaction, unlike those in physics, are not always equal and opposite. For the conflict to reach the point of concern for both the parties involved and interested observers, one of the forces, either the action or the reaction, must be more poignant than the other.

As much as it's impossible to completely remove the happenings of action and reaction or for that conflict from heart affair, effort must necessarily be expanded on the part of the two involved not to allow degenerate to the point of consuming the good part of the bond. Each time I’m called to interfere in a threatened heart affair. I always ask the warring parties in a relationship to make a scale of the good and the bad aspects of their life together, and also to calculate the hours they spend quarreling. If the good and lean hours of quarrels prevail, then stay and live it out is my advice. And if otherwise, get out is usually my advice.

From the time when the decision for nuptials is taken to the termination of matrimony between two lovers, it’s abundantly important for the couples to learn to live with the diversity in the character and way of life of the partner.

In heart's affairs, only of a false paradise, is to think it possible to find another individual who is completely compatible with one's point of view and way of life. Matrimony is neither designed nor created to be a bed of roses.

As a matter of fact, a careful scrutiny reveals that it’s created to test the strength of the parties in copulation in the areas of tolerance, forgiveness, long suffering, accommodation, adaptability, and so on.

At the core of the dissatisfactions experienced in love affairs is the zeal of one of the parties in the bond, wanting the other to be a prototype of a person believed by one of the parties to be an ideal person like himself or herself. Therefore, spouses will do their togetherness a world of good if the man or woman learns how to stop looking at themselves in their spouses.

On the contrary, the time that is to be devoted to fault-finding should be devoted to fact-finding, as this can enrich the relationship. Only in a way such as this can conflict be converted to treasure, pressure be converted to pleasure, strain be converted to solution, and distance be converted to darling.

Constant and concerted must be the effort to be employed in the betterment of the tie called matrimony. A spouse who identifies the other as a better half is to do all within his or her capacity to learn of both the agreeable and disagreeable aspects of his or her partner for the purpose of accommodation. In this exercise, the most important ingredient of heart affairs, understanding, is to be acquired. And in the abode where understanding finds covers lives love, compassion, empathy.

      The quest for something unique

For a man or a woman to seek another, something unique in the desired must do the pulling. It may come in the form of power, wealth, or class in the instance of the woman. It may be a pretty face, adornment, elegance, or poise in the instance of the man. Even for the kind as seek love for not too excellent a reason, there must exist a pull.

Therefore, every man and woman who desires another should endeavor to properly situate what he or she really desires and be prepared to entice.

After desirability has been established, there can be no too much effort to put in place to win the desired. For the man, improvement of his means is of significance, while to the woman, poise is of prominence.

      Sexuality, a natural psychological incident

In living beings, the ability to act and react sexually is a natural psychological incident. That’s for a man or woman to intentionally or unintentionally respond to sexual stimuli is a biological characteristic. And as other characteristics of living beings, it varies in degree, just as the height or complexion of individuals varies from one person to another. So it becomes abundantly important for an individual to be able to situate his or her level in the scale of variation attainable.

Sexual libido, as defined, is a measure of someone’s energy/desire for sex. That implies that there is a degree to it. Here, we intend to look at it as a measure of where an individual belongs in the classification of urge and eagerness for sex. Some humans exhibit excessive sexual libido, while some exhibit near-hate zeal for sexual activities.

Like all exhibitions in life, let’s take mid-way sexual libido as the moderate way to enjoy an active and reasonable sex life. Hence, the individual with excessive or limited sexual libido is encouraged to pursue the means to either pull or push up, respectively, their sexual drive as it applies on the scale of measure.

Now, to one who has the obligation of being in love affairs with either of the two high and low ways, understanding is the advice. It’s to be looked upon as an act of nature. As a short person or an extremely tall person can’t do much on his or her fate, so as well is little within the control of any as live divergent sexual characteristics. Innate characteristics can only be accommodated or, in rare occurrences, be moderated.

Let’s come to the person who has to endure a relationship with such as are of either excessive or limited sexual urges. In the event of living with individuals with excessive sexual demands, the likely occur is undue sexual demands from the partner or resorting out to satisfy his or her needs through extra-marital affairs. While the person involved with an individual with a curtailed sexual urge finds himself or herself in a situation of satisfied sexual need.

Nature is loaded with plenty of anomalies in the formation of the human body forms and functions, such as handicaps of various kinds and degrees, being a genius or a moron. In the same league fall the people who are living with either excessive or low sexual urges.

In the case of sexual characteristics, any person going into a bond must endeavor to ascertain his or her sexual compatibility with the intending lover, which is easily possible in this era of fluid choices and information, as opposed to the bygone era.

The crux of the matter, therefore, is that sexual action or inaction is a natural psychological phenomenon that is largely beyond the total control of the individuals involved. With careful study of the factor of compatibility before entering into any lasting bond, the prospective lovers can figure out how to seek such that falls squarely into the range of their capability. So that the choices settled for will be such that, can result in the case of a round peg in a round hole.

The rudders of the language of heart affairs

By the rudders of the language of heart affairs, we refer to the characteristics of the modality that transmit the intention, emotion and action that make matters of the heart rock and roll right on target as fashioned. The language at every section of the communication must be chosen to mean exactly what it meant, and be able to deliver the message as to touch the core of even such as intend to say no to the request. The intention must be clear and exact. The emotion must be real and communicable. And the action must smooth and sincere. The following will throw more light on the importance of the rudders of the language of heart affairs.

·         Open mindedness

A heart that seeks another in heart affairs should proceed with an open and non prejudiced mind. Doubts and possible outcome of the encounter should left behind at the point of decide. From here hence, let’s attach ‘you’ to the seeker, and have ‘him, her, she or he’ as the desired. When you have located someone you desired, last of your bother should be how him or her will react to your action, rather, you should bother yourself with how you’re going to package your desire across with as effective and potent words as possible in your knowing.

Open mindedness place you in good stead because it keeps your mind completely on the purpose on hand, leaving your mind unencumbered with the final outcome of the encounter. I don’t see the possible gain of anticipating the end of first encounter with someone you’re introducing a proposal to anyway, because the report sheet will arrive in due course. So it’s best to concentrate on the matters on hand, and the efficacy of the delivery of your intention in as refine manner as best can impact for maximum return. Meaning that the only way you can change a ‘no’ to ‘yes’, if no, were the waiting answer, is by the spice which your brainpower and subconscious can assist you with if you’re in clear frame of mind.

Open mindedness also allow you to view the entity before you as presented, without the preconceived notion that, all men are this or that, or women likes to be lies to. Have in mind that you are meeting an individual, and that as much are the finger prints of individual defers so also do mind vary makes an entity unique. Hence the manner to open the vile over every need be discern as the navigation through the mind unfold. Moreover, open mind approach positions you in good stead to monitor the output, response and body language of the bud you wish to unravel and penetrate.

Open minded methodology is not to detract from the strength of fine tact in the art of reaching the target desired. Fine tact, as will be enumerated in due course as mount the mountain of this love affairs elucidation, is a prime mover in art of conquering a heart. As a matter of fact, fine tactic is one instrument that, the open minded approach to open a new heart needed the most to effectively deliver the message as will be memorable and unforgettable by the one courted.

·         Sound mindedness

A healthy mind like the body delivers the goods. A sound mind in love affairs is a rich mind in talk and response. A mind that is alert, to its responsibility and to respond to the missile that comes to prevent or act as a seeming blockage, as is the instance where easy sail is presented. Such a mind should know when to laugh, make the other laugh, move forward/ahead, and apply the break, in a short word, know the in and out of body language.

Importance  of  the language of heart affairs

Love language moves the desired heart to an intended height in communication of intention and implementation of state of heart. Its major mandate is to ensure that the message as is formulated in the mind is presented to the target in a concise and effective manner through the use of potent and appropriate words. Such as could make the recipient say ‘yes’ when ‘no’ live the port of answer, and would be happy with the make over.

The language as pertain heart matters is the instrument use in taking message from one heart and imparting it into another, either verbally or by body speeches, in such a manner that the listener not only hear the words but must also get and feel the intention.

The most basic form of interpersonal communication, an encounter or a conversation between two people, is the cardinal type in heart matters. Communicating for impact on target in a love encounter requires good conversational skills. The communicators must know how to start and end a conversation, how to make the message understood, how to respond to the listener statements, how to anticipate and be sensitive to the listener’s concerns, and would have to be a good listener. For instance, someone who intends to unlock an unwilling heart must learn the arithmetic of persuasion in convincing the target that his or her agendas are valuable and are of benefit.

Anyone grounded in the antics of love affairs vis-à-vis be sound in its language and be skillful in the manipulation of its words, phrases, and sentences, would a better head start than the one who intended to play in every language.

Predominant in community of lovers is still the instances of lovers of many years been unable to use simple phrases such as, “fuck my cunt”, “I need you to give hot fellatio”, etc even simple words like romance, kiss, caress, and fondle are frowned at by majority of couples.

And here lies the crux of the matter in the problem prevalent in lover’s affairs. Situations whereby a lady, often times, a guy, cannot call her guy, and vice versa, to indicate that there is a region of the body that need urgent attention is not desirable, but yet is the one a penny occurrence in lover’s dens. This directly results in frustration and what is popularly referred to as suffering in silence. Soundness of one or the other in the intricacies of intrigues of love matter is the only implement that can make either of the lovebirds come out with suggestion on how to experiment with new style for mutual benefit and growth of the affairs. Hence the essence of learning to use the tool to unfasten the nut of heart matters.

The language of heart affairs 

Generally speaking, language is the principal means used by human beings to communicate with one another.

Every field of life has its unique language, such as computer language, medical language and language for literature etc.

The purpose for the distinction in the use of language from one field to another in human endeavor is to distinguish; the content, style and sound of language as it pertain to a particular calling.

The language of heart affair, like that of any other field of life has its peculiar ingredients and spices.

Heart affair makes use of general language as well as its own unique additional stand-out languages, non-verbal, such as facial expression and body language. In body language action speaks better than words.

The language of heart affaires make ample use the five sense organ, namely sense of touch, sense of feel, sense of taste, sense of sight and sense of smell. Sign language also plays a prominent role in a subsisting matter of the heart affairs.

The use of language in heart affairs and its words are unique to that extend we don’t part most of it publicly. A good degree of intimacy most ensure between two persons, male and female, for an effective use of amorous intended words between two parties. The language is also reserved because it’s not to be used in the presence of those consider as adolescence, who could only drink the milk and not meat of intimate affairs.

Most of these lovely words in language of love, for instant, fuck, cunt, amorous, cunnilingus, fellatio etc, are frown at when used in everyday conversation. This is so because they are special tool reserved for unique involvements.

Language, hence, is a weapon, a rudder, an enhancer, in the ocean of speaking the mind of the seeker or respondent in an atmosphere of love. In more ways than one, speaking endearment to a desired heart is a war of words. In love communication, as in all warfare, effective command and use of weapon is paramount to becoming victorious. Therefore, a seeker of a heart need be vast in the diction and sound of words to employ in selling the message and responding to missile.

When the battle to own a heart is fought and won on the outside, then come, the stage of heart in consummation. When the curtains are drawn, the language, that is hitherto considered as dirty in the public sphere become white as snow. In there, the minds in love are expected to call on words to become motivator, stimulant and arouser. Extreme mating related words are to be employed to, open timid or inexperience hearts, enhance intimacy and spice the mating with sweet nothing.

The flame of copulation can be greatly raised by the use of erotic words, phrases and sentences. Lines such as, open it wide, suck it suck it harder, you’re a stallion, fuck me hard, am in cloud nine, let’s do all the styles etc. are some of the spicy lines in the kitchen of love brew. These lines, or such as these, are to be used to maximum advantage.

When the right words are deployed, right on target, it energizes the receiver of the lines to perform to the utmost. We can only compare the potency of such deployment of lines to the motivation of an employee in a striving workforce.

Some minds, such as considered these lines base, of necessity, will require adjustment for alignment. As deleting these lines from love making conversation is akin to minimizing the current in a live wire.

INGREDIENTS OF HEART AFFAIRS

Love, as we intend to dissect and digest, is limited to matters of the heart, in and out of passionate, compassionate romance.

Love affairs in this dictionary refer to a relationship between two bodies that wish to have it culminate in intimate lovemaking.

The scope includes the good, which meet the expectation and consent of partakers, the bad, such as leave broken hearts or hearts, and the ugly, which dealt a blow that could be devastating to the unfortunate in a merger.

A truth is that all who travel this line of hearts mingling, wish, and hope, to encounter olive and a dove only.

However, reality reveals that the most common products of heart affairs are vultures and hyenas, though they arrive garbed as olive and dove.

In cancelled real purpose, these groups take love as a game or a fling.

When two hearts of divergent anticipation collide to coil a joint.

Then, failed desire a most possible outcome.

These affairs, personal opinion, are better based on a strong foundation of understanding.

In a manner that can downplay undue and uncoordinated desire.

And place a premium on the craving and requirement of the partner.

In this way, if the two eyes and hearts that decide to come together and knot a ring can open their sight and feeling to the convergent and divergent points of view in their respective partner, then indeed they can learn to live as a couple of their hearts' desire.

Let’s hereunder take a brief journey through the muddy waters of heart affairs and possibly locate one or two condiments that can put a good percentage of pilgrims in this climate on an enjoyable and lasting footing.

Living in dungeon, without four wall

Living in a dungeon, without four walls

In walls of four and a ceiling of twelve

The numbers on the tip of the finger,

Because out invited me not

Even when without, to axe joblessness

Lacking, smiling, and talking faces,

Extend my incarceration

Live on the streets with a streaming two-legged ghost.

Pounding the paths, for not there sustenance

Where is the government? Where is the job

Dearth all over, of job, of road, of water, of clinic,

Even of collective waste bin,

Litters, hugging the sky, stench feeding the nose

Yet, they are in charge; they got the jobs, elective offices.

Birth of deceit, gun, murder, lip service promises

Serve the state; they do, by throwing lavish wedding parties,

At the president’s town home, for the bride,

At the governor’s town home, as the groom,

At the governor’s state house, still as the groom,

Grand finale, at the palatial presidential palace

Their electrical power holder withheld power,

Living the balance of active imagination

I, though, ride on my prison term with friendly darkness.

The ever constant companion, anyway.