The act of making love

To make love is to copulate, that is, to have sexual intercourse. In this endeavor, we’re interested in consenting men and women making love. After all the involvement of introduction and getting connected is done with the kingship of love affair, make love. In here, we’re interested in settled heart affairs, that is, such that have past the rudimentary stages of courtship and even have past the initiation of sexual activity between couples. In other words, we’re to deal with such as have no barrier in going to bed together and be at joy in doing the things that lovers do.

Love making could be a straitjacket thing, the woman lying on her back and the man mounting her, thrusting in and out, given little or no time to oral sexual activity or pleasure that each of the parties could derive from intercourse. Stay specifically within what is widely referred to as traditional style without reference to what we call the variety of style, which ironically is the spice of pleasurable intercourse.

Making love is beyond as stated above. In the minds of many, due to deep-seated beliefs, moral high ground, and being right in conduct, the traditional way of making love has come to be either the only way or the righteous way. Nothing can be further from the truth. On the contrary, lovemaking is an art of merging two consenting souls, bodies, and minds into one entity. Love making is an art that makes two souls in love completely surrender to each other in rare minutes when sense gives way to senselessness.

Love making ought to be so enjoyed that getting off each other’s arms after the deed should seem inconceivable. In other words, only sound sleep in each other’s arms is the state deserving of lovers just past the climaxes.

THE DOINGS AND UNDOINGS OF LOVE AFFAIRS

Many are the juices and tears on the terrain of love affairs. An average aspirant to its ship will wish and hope for a taste of its juices. But reality checks reveal that the tears take the day in most surveys of an average day of mating of hearts. Why is it so, asks the mind of the most concerned observer. Let’s expose some of the potholes in the wings and branches of the birds and tree of love.

   The touch, taste, and transit

The individual interested in touch-and-go will, by expectation, be a competent trickster, to be able to make another believe in him or her and the attended escapade. He must necessarily be a good judge of character and body language, must be a good storyteller, and must be able to spread make-believe and get the victim carried away. That’s, be able to make the victim draw a non-existent conclusion about the ensuing relationship.

The touch-and-go man or woman will, of course, not come to the intended catch with a blueprint stating that he or she is intending to hit and run, or he or she is only interested in merely wanting to make some cash. But irrespective of the antics of a dubious lover, a careful mind in courtship will always be able to separate real from fake intention.

Any lover who is willing to identify and isolate a fake lover must divorce greed, overexpectation, and unmitigated eagerness from his or her psyche when assessing a prospective lover. Such isolation will allow the mind to freely read the telltale signs, such as sincerity of purpose, freedom of expression, double-check volunteered information, make a critical observation of body language, and have the ability to read between the lines. For instance, as little as not keeping to time might seem on face value in a relationship, it goes a long way to determine the seriousness that a lover attaches to the matters concerning the desired mate.

Touch-and-go lovers, man or woman, will always be available in the atmosphere of love affairs, hence they’ll do all as they wish to fall in and live in love, a world of good to learn as much as is possible about the mode of operation of love gamers.

      The for better and for worse lovers

Two hearts in love that have come to the conclusion that it is desirable to spend the rest of their days together will, as of natural design, experience chains of unforeseen consequences that, in time, will test their bond to the limit. It usually starts from the moment of final decision is made to consummate the budding relationship. Like a time bomb waiting to explode, a series of irreconcilable differences raises its ugly head. This is perfectly within expectation as the habit(s) that is/are hitherto suppressed in pretense to satisfy each other get free rein. And as the true color becomes discernible, surprises and realities conflict to the extent that it gives birth to uncontrolled outbursts that will elicit a reaction. The action and reaction, unlike those in physics, are not always equal and opposite. For the conflict to reach the point of concern for both the parties involved and interested observers, one of the forces, either the action or the reaction, must be more poignant than the other.

As much as it's impossible to completely remove the happenings of action and reaction or for that conflict from heart affair, effort must necessarily be expanded on the part of the two involved not to allow degenerate to the point of consuming the good part of the bond. Each time I’m called to interfere in a threatened heart affair. I always ask the warring parties in a relationship to make a scale of the good and the bad aspects of their life together, and also to calculate the hours they spend quarreling. If the good and lean hours of quarrels prevail, then stay and live it out is my advice. And if otherwise, get out is usually my advice.

From the time when the decision for nuptials is taken to the termination of matrimony between two lovers, it’s abundantly important for the couples to learn to live with the diversity in the character and way of life of the partner.

In heart's affairs, only of a false paradise, is to think it possible to find another individual who is completely compatible with one's point of view and way of life. Matrimony is neither designed nor created to be a bed of roses.

As a matter of fact, a careful scrutiny reveals that it’s created to test the strength of the parties in copulation in the areas of tolerance, forgiveness, long suffering, accommodation, adaptability, and so on.

At the core of the dissatisfactions experienced in love affairs is the zeal of one of the parties in the bond, wanting the other to be a prototype of a person believed by one of the parties to be an ideal person like himself or herself. Therefore, spouses will do their togetherness a world of good if the man or woman learns how to stop looking at themselves in their spouses.

On the contrary, the time that is to be devoted to fault-finding should be devoted to fact-finding, as this can enrich the relationship. Only in a way such as this can conflict be converted to treasure, pressure be converted to pleasure, strain be converted to solution, and distance be converted to darling.

Constant and concerted must be the effort to be employed in the betterment of the tie called matrimony. A spouse who identifies the other as a better half is to do all within his or her capacity to learn of both the agreeable and disagreeable aspects of his or her partner for the purpose of accommodation. In this exercise, the most important ingredient of heart affairs, understanding, is to be acquired. And in the abode where understanding finds covers lives love, compassion, empathy.

      The quest for something unique

For a man or a woman to seek another, something unique in the desired must do the pulling. It may come in the form of power, wealth, or class in the instance of the woman. It may be a pretty face, adornment, elegance, or poise in the instance of the man. Even for the kind as seek love for not too excellent a reason, there must exist a pull.

Therefore, every man and woman who desires another should endeavor to properly situate what he or she really desires and be prepared to entice.

After desirability has been established, there can be no too much effort to put in place to win the desired. For the man, improvement of his means is of significance, while to the woman, poise is of prominence.

      Sexuality, a natural psychological incident

In living beings, the ability to act and react sexually is a natural psychological incident. That’s for a man or woman to intentionally or unintentionally respond to sexual stimuli is a biological characteristic. And as other characteristics of living beings, it varies in degree, just as the height or complexion of individuals varies from one person to another. So it becomes abundantly important for an individual to be able to situate his or her level in the scale of variation attainable.

Sexual libido, as defined, is a measure of someone’s energy/desire for sex. That implies that there is a degree to it. Here, we intend to look at it as a measure of where an individual belongs in the classification of urge and eagerness for sex. Some humans exhibit excessive sexual libido, while some exhibit near-hate zeal for sexual activities.

Like all exhibitions in life, let’s take mid-way sexual libido as the moderate way to enjoy an active and reasonable sex life. Hence, the individual with excessive or limited sexual libido is encouraged to pursue the means to either pull or push up, respectively, their sexual drive as it applies on the scale of measure.

Now, to one who has the obligation of being in love affairs with either of the two high and low ways, understanding is the advice. It’s to be looked upon as an act of nature. As a short person or an extremely tall person can’t do much on his or her fate, so as well is little within the control of any as live divergent sexual characteristics. Innate characteristics can only be accommodated or, in rare occurrences, be moderated.

Let’s come to the person who has to endure a relationship with such as are of either excessive or limited sexual urges. In the event of living with individuals with excessive sexual demands, the likely occur is undue sexual demands from the partner or resorting out to satisfy his or her needs through extra-marital affairs. While the person involved with an individual with a curtailed sexual urge finds himself or herself in a situation of satisfied sexual need.

Nature is loaded with plenty of anomalies in the formation of the human body forms and functions, such as handicaps of various kinds and degrees, being a genius or a moron. In the same league fall the people who are living with either excessive or low sexual urges.

In the case of sexual characteristics, any person going into a bond must endeavor to ascertain his or her sexual compatibility with the intending lover, which is easily possible in this era of fluid choices and information, as opposed to the bygone era.

The crux of the matter, therefore, is that sexual action or inaction is a natural psychological phenomenon that is largely beyond the total control of the individuals involved. With careful study of the factor of compatibility before entering into any lasting bond, the prospective lovers can figure out how to seek such that falls squarely into the range of their capability. So that the choices settled for will be such that, can result in the case of a round peg in a round hole.